I'm not sure why but it seems the last few months my knowledge of shit has changed. I feel like I understand things better; why people do the things they do, why the world is the way it is, what songs are going on about, what it takes to succeed and why we fail.
For what felt like most of my life there was a lot of shit I just didn't 'get'. I felt I was missing something that everyone else had, like a class I missed at school or a meeting I forgot to attend. I always felt quite naive, I had a simplistic view on the world. I'm not thick but I've never felt streetwise or particularly intuitive. 'Emotionally retarded', might be one way to put it.
I don't think I am that any more.
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Sunday 2 February 2014
Here's January in review
96 miles run
9 weight sessions
5 lbs of fat shed
1 pint of blood donated
1 exam passed
0 units of alcohol
What a great start to the year. I've been training like a beast (the jungle kind, not the 70s BBC kind), and I've been doing very well at work.
You have to think this is down to the no-drink policy. I knew I'd be able to train harder (last year I took nearly a month off it) but I didn't expect my memory to be better, my thinking clearer and my confidence greater.
I think back to the fucking worst hangovers I had last year and the further away I get from them the less I want to go back. It was like hitting a reset button every weekend, any fitness or self-esteem I'd built up during the week was often drowned in a big sesh and then wiped out from a dose of the FEAR.
So I'm staying off it for February. I've no reason to have a drink and many not to. It's that simple.
I did a bit of socialising without the urge to have a drink. Went out to a couple of movies, dinner, snooker etc. The only friction I got was from my best mate who's reaction to my ongoing abstinence went from shock to confusion to disgust, but that's just how it goes with mates. I enjoy that side of it.
I passed up the chance to hit a couple of bars on three occasions, not because I thought I might fold but because I just felt I wouldn't be totally comfortable. This is the only thing I need to get over and it's not a big thing. Like anything in life; it only seems a problem when you're avoiding it. If you look at something, work out what you need to do, do it, these so-called problems disappear.
About six weeks ago I picked up a guitar (with intention) for the first time in my life and struggled to pick out a D-chord. It hurt my fucking fingers, fingers which couldn't even reach the bits I needed to reach.
But I stuck at it. 15 minutes here and there, taking guidance from the awesome Justin Guitar and I can tell you that as of tonight I could pick up any six-string in the fucking world and give you not only a D-chord but a motherfucking A-chord too.
It still hurts my god-damn fingers but that'll get better without me even working on it. I just need to practice the chords and my soft, IT, keyboard-tapping fingers will man up eventually.
Philip Seymour Hoffman died today: one of the few actors who didn't seem to act. Apparent heroin overdose. Fuck.
9 weight sessions
5 lbs of fat shed
1 pint of blood donated
1 exam passed
0 units of alcohol
What a great start to the year. I've been training like a beast (the jungle kind, not the 70s BBC kind), and I've been doing very well at work.
You have to think this is down to the no-drink policy. I knew I'd be able to train harder (last year I took nearly a month off it) but I didn't expect my memory to be better, my thinking clearer and my confidence greater.
I think back to the fucking worst hangovers I had last year and the further away I get from them the less I want to go back. It was like hitting a reset button every weekend, any fitness or self-esteem I'd built up during the week was often drowned in a big sesh and then wiped out from a dose of the FEAR.
So I'm staying off it for February. I've no reason to have a drink and many not to. It's that simple.
I did a bit of socialising without the urge to have a drink. Went out to a couple of movies, dinner, snooker etc. The only friction I got was from my best mate who's reaction to my ongoing abstinence went from shock to confusion to disgust, but that's just how it goes with mates. I enjoy that side of it.
I passed up the chance to hit a couple of bars on three occasions, not because I thought I might fold but because I just felt I wouldn't be totally comfortable. This is the only thing I need to get over and it's not a big thing. Like anything in life; it only seems a problem when you're avoiding it. If you look at something, work out what you need to do, do it, these so-called problems disappear.
About six weeks ago I picked up a guitar (with intention) for the first time in my life and struggled to pick out a D-chord. It hurt my fucking fingers, fingers which couldn't even reach the bits I needed to reach.
But I stuck at it. 15 minutes here and there, taking guidance from the awesome Justin Guitar and I can tell you that as of tonight I could pick up any six-string in the fucking world and give you not only a D-chord but a motherfucking A-chord too.
It still hurts my god-damn fingers but that'll get better without me even working on it. I just need to practice the chords and my soft, IT, keyboard-tapping fingers will man up eventually.
Philip Seymour Hoffman died today: one of the few actors who didn't seem to act. Apparent heroin overdose. Fuck.
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